My longest love story:

Let me tell you a story. 🎉 Once upon a time, there was a dreamy little girl who loved the arts, music, adventures and love itself. She rocked to songs, arts and crafts, sewing, knitting and children's games with her sister and brother, under the benevolent care of a grandmother, and then for a year with her devoted godmother. Love reigned in her kingdom. But when she reached school age, her dysfunctional family came back for her, and her life was turned upside down. With all her landmarks lost, this little girl became frightened and withdrawn into herself until she disappeared completely. Like a zombie. Like a good little actress, she tried not to let it show, but she felt lost, tossed between a mother who was probably bipolar and a father who drank up his fear by the hour. At 14, she discovered an inner respite in drugs and alcohol with high school friends who were as lost as she was.

At just 16, more than 50 address changes and 26 schools later, she's off to live her own life, thinking she can do better than her parents. Alas, the young girl doesn't know it, but fear reigns in her heart too, as it does in the hearts of her family.  She's so afraid that she's forgotten the loving, artistic, life-loving little girl she once was. She goes on living as if nothing had happened, but inside she's suffering, and it seems to her that a volcano of anger is growing inside her. All her decisions are made in fear, without her knowing it.

She relieves her unconscious pain through anything that brings her temporary or immediate respite. First food, then overwork followed by idleness, working to excess then spending it all.  Then alcohol and drugs allow her to cover up this feeling of inner terror and the desire to die that takes hold. Seeking security in love, at 17 she has a child, with a young man as lost as she is. This baby will keep her alive, and she is determined to learn to love him. At a school for young mothers, which allows her to finish high school, she begins studying child psychology. Still seeking security, she enters another relationship with a man who is also afraid, and a beautiful baby girl is born. She tries to love her as best she can, but to escape the relationship she runs away to work, and her children, like her, are looked after by strangers. She sets up a successful business, but her recklessness and a series of fear-driven decisions bankrupt her. She feels an insurmountable emptiness.

At the age of 34, after her younger brother took his own life in prison, tempted to do the same, she had a moment of lucidity, I'd say love, and called for help.  After reading her story, the psychologist consulted told her: "You've been completely abandoned. You need to be re-parented, to learn who you are, and to assume your identity."

This young woman is me, Hélène Nicole.

-"How long will this take," I asked the therapist?

-"5 to 6 years," she replied. Wow, quite a contract, I thought.

This period coincided with the loss of my idol Céline Dion's voice. The vocal specialist she consulted advised her that if she didn't learn to sing again, she would lose her voice for good, and that it would take 5 to 6 years of work. Céline took up the challenge. She was about to lose her voice – I was about to lose my life.

I have to tell you that my moment of lucidity, the one that led me to this psychologist, came from Céline Dion's song "Immortalité". This song saved me. Written by the Gibbs brothers, it tells the story of their brother's suicide. On ne dit pas au revoir" begins the song's chorus, 'We don't say goodbye'. Inspired by this song, I picked up the phone to call for help one day when I had decided to end my life. I then decided to do everything the therapist suggested. I did all the exercises, I read all the books.

That's how I discovered two of my favorite authors: Erich Fromm and Gerald G. Jampolsky. One wrote L'Art d'aimer, the other N'enseigne que l'amour.

I fell in love with love once again, and began to write and sing about love. I found my identity, and I've been living it ever since.  I've written a book called Illimiter l'amour, and a CD-Book version, Choosing The Right One, Are You Ready For A Relationship, and even a play for children: "Au royaume de l'amour" to teach them love.  These writings made me realize that I had to become the person I dreamed of loving. Another author I love says: "Marry yourself first, promise never to leave you."

I learned to love with these authors with this psychologist. Then, at the age of 35, I chose to become sober, because alcohol was preventing me from feeling the great love that was inside me. On January 5, 2025, I celebrated 25 years of sobriety. 25 years of learning to love myself from all sides. 25 years of being loved by hundreds and hundreds of people, who took me as I was, and put me back on my path whenever I lost my way. And that continues with you.

I looked for love everywhere but in myself, and it was in the depths of you and me that I found it. A year and a half ago, my heart told me: go spend the winter in Ocala, Fl. I didn't know anyone there, but the last time my heart had told me to go somewhere, it had been to Toronto, which had led me to my school music career. So I left, convinced that my desire to find my soulmate would come true. And so, on January 5, 2024, David heard me sing at a 12-step meeting and we started creating our life together, La Vie Ensemble.

Join us in February, as our theme is love, from the smallest note to the most beautiful symphony – and you are part of it!

Hélène Nicole and David.